dailytweets:

[Retweet]

unadulteratedpiratepizza:

duccibag:

vine walked so tik tok could soar: a compilation

tik tok has a much more surreal quality to it then vine

thyrell:

thyrell:

thyrell:

garrettauthor:

This made me so fucking angry I have to inflict it on all of you.

what’s the punchline here

wait

mother-duster:

“Not all at once ladies :)” I say to the rats that bite my ankles

flaming-fruitcake:

totalariana:

When I do something that reminds me of my mother

My mom coming out of nowhere after hearing me say this with her mom powers

100 WAYS TO HAVE FUN WITHOUT ANY FRIENDS🍸

brownsugarsmatter:

 I cut a lot of toxic people out of my life last year, including family and friends that I’ve known forever and now I’m at a point where I don’t really have any friends. I’m not gonna lie, it was very hard to do. But once I learned how to spend time with myself and actually have fun, I appreciated the process, this took me a couple of days to make, so I hope you guys really enjoy this!

Heres 100 ways to have fun without having any friends:

1. Treat yourself to a full body massage every month
   
2. Go ice skating or learn to ice skate at your local ice skating ring
3. Regularly get your nails done or do them yourself 
4. Go to a concert to one of your favorite artists or as many as you can
5.  Get dressed up and visit a museum or art gala that you’ve never been to
6. Treat yourself to a facial or do one yourself at home 
   
7. Binge on Netlfix while snacking on some delicious sushi and wine
   
8. Go to a bookstore, find yourself a comfortable spot, and read a book, or journal your thoughts
   
9. Take your bike for a ride around the area while blasting some of your favorite music
10. Pack a basket with some drinks and sandwiches and have a picnic at the park  
    
11. Learn a new language, you can teach yourself or attend clubs for people that are also trying to learn
12. Style your hair, do your makeup, and take a bunch of selfies for the gram
13. Go to a lantern festival 
14. Take a trip somewhere you’ve always wanted to visit
15. Learn to play a new instrument
16. Enroll in a gym class that interests you
17. Follow local food guides on Instagram and try out different foods at the places they recommend
18. Get a new piercing
19. Get your dream tattoo
20. Go to the gun range 
21. Purchase a DNA ancestry kit and learn more about what makes you who you are
22. Attend as many plays as you can
23. Volunteer in something that you’re passionate about
24. Go swimming or learn how to swim
25. Take yourself out to the movies
26. Write and publish a book
27. Buy yourself a new summer dress or bikini and wear it to the beach
28. Tackle your fear of heights and go sky diving
29. Visit a cat cafe or animal shelter
30. Go shopping 
31. Learn how to make a new recipe
32. Take aerial silk classes
33. Take ballet lessons
34. Redecorate your bedroom or apartment 
35. Set the mood, light up candles in your room, dim the lights, and try out new sex toys
36. Get your hair done or buy a cute wig that you’ve always wanted
37. Cosplay
38. Attend a convention
39. Attend a Paint and Sip class, you get to paint art and drink at the same time
40. Explore local spots in your city as if you were a tourist
41. Take up martial art classes
42. Go to the arcade
43. Play video games
44. Visit an aquarium
45. Watch the sunset or sunrise
46. Binge watch Korean dramas
47. Buy yourself some chocolate and flowers because why not
48. Create your own makeup 
49. Go on a hike
50. Go glamping/camping
51. Go to a music festival
52. Train and run a marathon
53. Go on a local yacht cruise
54. Visit pop up shops and bazaars
55. Go horseback riding or learn how to ride a horse
56. Go to the zoo
57. Go surfing or learn how to surf
58. Ride a plane around your city
59. Adopt a pet
60. Buy new toys for your pet and play with them some more
61. Take a pole dancing class
62. Attend a TED talk
63. Stargaze
64. Purchase lingerie and pose for yourself in the mirror
65. Go roller skating or learn how to roller skate
66. Have a photoshoot by yourself or hire someone to do a photoshoot for you
67. Attend a fashion show
68. Attend a circus
69. If you’re into spooky stuff, go to a paranormal tour and dinner adventure 
70. Go to a sports game
71. Attend a comedy show
72. Take part in murder mystery dinners
73. Crash a wedding
74. Go the farmers market
75. Tackle a puzzle
76. Go the drive in theatre
77. Create new clothes out of your old ones or transform ones from the thrift store
78. Go sledding or learn how to sled
79. Play mini golf
80. Make pottery
81. Go indoor skydiving
82. Try karaoke
83. Go snorkeling or learn how to snorkle
84. Try karaoke
85. Try Go Kart Racing
86. Create YouTube videos
87. Go to a rodeo
88. Place a bet at a horse racing event
89. Start your own blog and make extra cash from it 
90. DIY crafts
91. Go on a drive through wild safari
92. Play an extra in a film
93. Go skiing or learn how to skii
94. Attend a book signing event of one of your favorite authors
95. Go to an estate sale in a wealthy neighborhood
96. Learn a new skill online
97. Go to karaoke night at a bar
98. Enter a contest
99. Listen to a podcast
100. Join a support group

personalgrowthforsale:

lemonvortex:

lemonvortex:

Women on twitter are sharing weird things theyve seen in bathrooms at guys houses and im fucking screaming why are men like this

ONE OF THEM HAD A GARDEN HOSE INSTEAD OF A SHOWERHEAD BYE

Why do women hate innovation?

kickin-jeans:

ayatollahkhomeiniofficial:

I’ve come to the conclusion that none of you fear god

me addressing the huge fucking geese sleeping and shitting in front of the entrance to my college

(Source: arabmermaid)

ectoviolet:

jack blacks 13 year old: dad lets make a game channel together because we love to game as a family and im a 13 yr old so i like lets players 

jack black: thats a good idea i love you son

p*wdiep*e racists: CORPORATE GAMERS… NOT LIKE MY RACIST GAMER IDOL WHO IS A POOR INDEPENDENT CREATOR MILLIONAIRE

slipknots:

i went to this guys house this weekend and slept on his couch n woke up to this cat standing on my tummy and i said “aww i didnt know you had a cat” and he said “yeah her names bev” then he paused and said “short for beverage”

konvergenzparadoxon:

getting sad at night for no reason is my best talent

tlatotem:

mrsweaty:

lovelylittlewordsmith:

Anyone else look up Spider-Ham’s origin story after the movie and just…

Originally posted by tnytrtls

Honest I had this comic growing up and I had to sit through like seven tv shows and movie reboots about Spider-Man’s origins knowing they couldn’t top this but they kept trying